Yesterday, March 14th, saw students from schools all over the country (including my home town) walk-out in solidarity against the repeated, senseless school shootings rocking our country. They walked out because they don’t feel safe in their schools. They walked out to demand tougher gun laws. They walked out in respect for the students who have lost their lives. They walked out because they are not yet old enough to vote, and this is how they chose to be heard. They walked out to be noticed and not forgotten. But, despite my pride and sense of hope at their collective activism, I ended the day feeling despair and disgust. Why? Because, I made the huge mistake of reading the comments posted on social media in response to the walk-outs. Here is just a sampling of some of the statements I read:
“suspend all those little pukes”
“none of those kids care about anything but skipping class”
“Not giving up my guns for uneducated kids that are ungrateful”
“Sorry, but no Tide-eating kids will control my life”
“Yes, let’s be retarded…let’s get less education”
I sat reading the comments with tears of frustration running down my cheeks. How? How has it come to this? When did name-calling (by adults toward children!) become normal and acceptable? I was ashamed to read the volley of verbal insults being flung back and forth by members of my own community. What kind of example are we setting for our kids? We do not have to agree with the walk-outs. We do not have to agree with our neighbor’s opinion on gun control or how to best approach school safety. But, instead of dissolving into toddler antics of digging in our heels and calling names while screaming and thrashing out, let’s TALK about the issues and LISTEN to each other. Instead of picking a side and stubbornly holding the line, let’s actually listen to the concerns of everyone involved: students, teachers, parents and administrators. And, then, come up with a solution together.
It takes guts to lower your defenses and broaden your perspective. I know, because I am a work in progress. I will openly admit that I hate guns. If I could, I would abolish the 2nd amendment (collective GASP!), but I know this is never going to happen. Does that mean I hate gun owners? Of course not! I understand how owning guns makes some people feel safe in their homes. I understand the desire to want to defend yourself against an attacker. I understand how shooting for recreation could be fun (well, kind of…). Does it change my feelings about guns? Nope. But it has made me more sympathetic to gun owners and more willing to work on a solution that everyone can live with. Am I willing to sit down and hear the other side? I am. I don’t have to agree with you, but I will respect you and your opinions if the discourse is civil. LET’S KEEP THE DISCOURSE CIVIL. Let’s keep the discourse productive and moving toward the direction of positive change, not hopelessly lost in a verbal pissing contest.
So, I guess my take home message is “PLEASE, Don’t Feed The Trolls”. If someone is hurling insults, regardless of the side they are on, don’t respond. Don’t provide space for unproductive, demeaning, belligerent chatter. Oh, believe me, I know how hard it is sometimes to let it go. But, if you feed it, it will get bigger! The negativity will snowball into a storm that buries us all and nothing will ever get accomplished. Instead of reacting, reflect and then respond in a more productive manner. Maybe turn off your computer and go have a real conversation with both your friends and adversaries. Most important, don’t be part of the problem. Be part of the solution.
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